I just read over some posts that I've made, some of them I have posted as they happened and some were pulled from another blog I had. To be totally and utterly honest with myself and whoever reads this blog - I do see a relation between some dreams and what has happened or is happening in my life, and to say that out loud and to put it to paper gives me a chill. It some how makes it real. Not that the events were not real, but on paper makes it permanent, undeniable, it means they exist, they can't be buried, washed away or forgotten about, however much I would like to forget things that have caused me pain, I can't, nor is it healthy to. My family and friends do not know of this blog, and there would be only a select few that I would trust to introduce it to them. I've always been a very private person, so one might ask why make a blog and put stuff out there for other people to read. My answer to them, and most importantly to myself, is I feel this to be healthy for me to get these things out of my head. I honestly encourage and look forward to comments left by anyone who can relate. As i read a comment left on one of my posts it made me feel a sense of relief realizing that hiding and trying to avoid the obvious isn't helping me at all. As this year comes to and end in a couple of weeks, my resolution with myself is to be utterly honest with myself about the past, and the future.
peace......
That is Step 1; what a perfect new years resolution. Dreams are usually your subconscious speaking to you, so do not be alarmed or scared by the realization. Be proud of yourself for learning. The more aware you are of ALL your "bodies" the bigger impact you can make on this world.
ReplyDeleteBest of Luck to You.
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I can relate to this. The feeling of permanence and admittance in writing something down and looking back at it later. I've gotten that feeling with my old journals, and so many times I've considered getting rid of them. Throwing them away, burning them, anything. But then I have to think, "Well... that's what makes me who I am today." And it's scary to think of that, but at the same time it's reassuring.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of sharing a secret with the rest of the world...
that is one of the best ways to cope with something.
Leave anonymous notes in random books. Write a letter and leave it on a train somewhere. Have a meaningful conversation with someone who you'll never meet again. Confiding in strangers in ways that leave me without a face or any kind of personality association always makes me feel better. It's strange. But it works.
anonymous sharing of feelings left in public places. who wouldn't read the letter if left on a park bench or bus seat. the curiosity at least. chances are whomever reads it will most likely be able to relate and as does blogs and diaries - just getting it out there helps the healing process tremendously.
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