dream, related to yesterday

Yesterday a woman that I still think of as my sister asked me to make her flowers for her wedding, just like I had done for her years ago.  She used to be my sister in law.  I've known her since she was 12.  She'll always feel like family to me, even though we aren't as close as we used to be.  Which is one of the reasons  I was so touched and warmed when she asked me that.  This directly relates to the dream I had last night.

I dreamed that me, my daughter and my mother were all getting ready to go to her wedding.  I was not directly in the party, but was attending.  I must have tried on 4 or 5 different outfits.  finally deciding on one, and put my hose on, and then came the shoe dilema.  I tried on all of my shoes.  (Stange in this dream is that none of the dresses or shoes are anything that I actually own in my waking life)  As I was trying on different shoes I looked down the hall and saw that her fiance was there.  I had the feeling that we were all going to arrive at the church around the same time, or possibly it kinda felt like we were at the church already.  Anyway, i looked over at him I saw him sitting at a small table with her daughter.  He was looking at her so lovingly and she was talking to him about something.  He saw me staring at them and asked me what the hold up was, that we had to get going.  I apolgized and told him that I cannot decide on what shoes to wear.  He just stood there looking at the shoes rather strangly.  Then I woke up.

another vehichle & gas station dream

Dreamed that I was once again in a car, small car with a hatchback.  Urgently driving some place unknown.  I pulled into this small convenience store gas station.  Did not get gas this time, but proceeded inside. There were cakes displayed behind glass, sort of like at the deli counter.  I felt amazed and excited that such a small place would be offering cakes.  As I studied them, and I was studying them quit closely I realized that they were not homemade, they were frozen out of a box.  I felt disappointed in this.  I walked back and forth up and down in front of the glass leaning in to really get a closer look.  As I was doing this I noticed the people behind the counter talking to each other.  I could not hear what they were saying, but I saw them looking at me out of the corner of their eyes.  they were trying not to make it known they were watching me.  I decided to leave as I felt sort of betrayed by the store.  Thinking to myself that I just don't understand why they would want to deceive people like that.  I went over to my car and lifted the hatchback and it was full of loose mayonnaise, could've been pudding, by it was all on the bottom floor like a couple inches thick.  I wasn't surprised by this.  I grabbed a huge spatula and proceeded to smooth it out.  Closed the hatch and got into the driver's seat.  Some guy got into the back seat, on the driver's side.  I was surprised by this, frightened, and I quickly reached into the back seat and grabbed a huge sword.  Very shiny, very long and heavy.  There's no way that the guy didn't see it, but I tried to hide it up in the side of the dash.  I was squeezing it into a crevice, as I did it started to bend, pulling it back I looked at it.  It had wrinkles and folds in it.  I felt very disappointed and let down at the fact that my only defense was useless.  Then I woke up.

Releasing the Negative

I am currently in the process of a lot of changes.  Most major change is the fact that I am single now.  To make a long story very short - I hung in there longer than anyone should have.  He was given way more chances than anyone ever deserved.  I am done with it.  2013 is the year I am focusing on me and my family.  Putting myself first for a change.  I'll spare anyone who happens to read this the awful details, and I frankly don't want to waste one more ounce of my energy thinking about it anyway.  I'm struggling financially because paying off bills and keeping up on car repairs was not on his list of things to put money towards.  I guess that's how it goes with addicts.  Anyways I thought I would throw that out there, if for nothing more than a side note.  I'm sure that the torturous last 3 years had a lot to do with some of my crazy dreams. On an up note -  I've been dreaming more lately and they've been quit interesting.  Haven't had much free time to put them down.  Mad at myself that I didn't do it right away, as I know I've lost details by waiting.